Assalamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh
Have you ever wondered if the people around you are really with you for who you are? Have you ever doubted their truthfulness? Have you ever feel used or abused? Have you ever wondered why those who are mean to be around you leave you aside at the very moment you change, not to please them but to be a better self?
I'm sure you did, I also did.
Years ago, I used to think that everyone is good and if I did nothing to them, why would they hurt me? So I was quite naive and good to everyone, open to them and trusting them 100%. What a mistake!
It's true that the human nature is purely good but society and education (lack of it), influence and the brainwashing media poison it and manipulate it in a way that can change people's mind and make them do really awful things while making them think and even believe that it's normal, it's good, it's ok... It's not ok, it's not good and obviously it is NOT normal.
The problem comes when someone refuses to follow the standards they impose, when someone goes out of that road that they created to get us under control, when someone decides to think by themselves and most importantly, BE THEMSELVES. Then is when all the problems comes, when everyone attacks you, when they try either to put you back on their road or make you hate your new view and life to the point of not wanting to live it anymore.
Do you know what?
AND WHAT?
What if they don't like it? It's your life.
What if they are against you? Better alone than with bad companions.
What if they insult you? It just shows their lack of intelligence.
What if they shout at you? By doing so they won't be more right.
What if they hit you? They are so helpless they can't use the brain so they use the muscle.
It hurts, yes I know.
But nothing in this life is permanent, good or bad everything will come to an end and also we have options, we don't have to stay around this people, we can move.
This is what is life about, finding your way, your place, not letting others tell you which is.
"Allah will be your guide in your walk
by this temporary life. Just trust in Him.
Don't follow to humanity, follow the truth even if
that means having to go alone"
They want to limit us. Don't let them.
As a personal experience.
I was out of this standards and I got all of the above. It was the hardest years of my life and still happens sometimes but do you know what is different now?
Me.
I'm not the same. I grew in all senses. Physically, psychologically, morally, spiritually.
I almost gave it up, really I was about to jump from the edge, basically did it but something saved me. HOPE. Allah gave me that hope I had lost. Alhamdulillah.
I wondered, why? Why do I have to please others? I don't want to. Why do I have to follow their rules? I don't agree with them. Why do I have to be someone I'm not? I don't like them. Why do I have to change myself to fit in? I just want to be respected, no even accepted just respected.
Now. Things are the same, people sometimes respect me, sometimes don't, people sometimes shout at me, sometimes don't, people look down at me etc but I'm different, my attitude is different. I can defend myself if I need it, if I don't, I know who I'm and how I want to be so I'm not affected by them anymore. Accept me? Great, get to know me. Like me? Even greater. You don't like me? It's ok I can't please everyone nor I'm here to please anyone.
You are rude to me? Fine, if that's all your intelligence is for, good for you, mine can do better I'm not going to lower my level. Try to reach mine. If you can.
Shaykhul Islaam ibn Taymiyyah:
"Speech about people must be with knowledge and justice, not with ignorance and injustice, which is a sign of ahl-ul-Bid'ah."
(al-Minhaj 4/337)
Shaykh Hamad al-Ansaari:
"To me, books are better than the castles of the kings."
(al-Majmu' 1/395)
After I reverted, I lost many people in my life. Friends? I thought they were but at the second they knew I was muslim, all of suddenly I wasn't that good friend they said I was, suddenly I wasn't the one they missed so much and wanted to see often.
At home, even though my behaviour became better for Islam and I control myself more than I ever thought I could, I'm not the good girl anymore. Was I the good girl by name only? It seems so.
My sister recently caught me with my hijab on, I think she saw me before, by pictures probably, but now she doesn't talk to me, she doesn't look at me.
And even before this, I don't know what happened that she barely talks with me or spends time with me. Why? I don't know, I didn't do anything to her.
So by this I just want to let you know that it doesn't matter what happens in your life, you can't please anyone neither you have to, be as good as you can, keep your conscience quiet and keep going. It's your life, only you will suffer it as only you will enjoy it, do it for yourself.
Aishah Aish